ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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