dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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