so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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