There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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