i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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