My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize