Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My vagina just recognized that song.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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