i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
