but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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