we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
