come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
