It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize