the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just want nice things and good sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
