Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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