wakey wakey hands off snakey
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
