I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i need to put some appletini on your dick
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
