I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
