i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
