Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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