how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You are the jesus of drinking
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
