come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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