Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
