I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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