Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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