worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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