these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
