This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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