I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I stole a fireplace last night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
