You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
