Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
