Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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