It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
