david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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