ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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