Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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