areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
