They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
and she was petting her beer can
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize