I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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