thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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