Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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