singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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