Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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