Already got asked if we're dating
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
