I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
