4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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