There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
