at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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