Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
