there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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