Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
