i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
