so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
