Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
