Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
