I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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