what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
