The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
