You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
