I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
