Christians are straight up FREAKS
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Drunk is not a location!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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