Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
