You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
