Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize